Is it Ok to Not be ok

Have you ever felt really overwhelmed, sad, stressed and like you really need to talk to someone, but you just don't because it seems like all of your friends or family that you could talk to have what seems like bigger problems then yours? 

I've been there. Many times. And instead of listening to what was wrong in their life and casually mentioning what was up in mine, I just bottled it all up and put on a happy " strong, nothing to worry about" mask on so that I could be there for them. Because that's what good friends and family members do right? 

Wrong! As much as I want to be there for my friends and family I can't really be there for them if I have a lot going on and I cannot find a release. It's ok to Not be ok, to not have everything together and still be there for them. If anything as long as you all aren't keeping each other down but helping lifting each other up it might help to know that your not perfect! Who said you had to be perfect anyways?!

When my husband and I decided that I was going to be a stay at home mom with the kids and run my own business I had a completely different vision in my head on how things would run. I mean I was in a total fantasy world and because I was living up to my so called expectations of what I like to call a " movie star mom" I was always stressed out, mad at myself, and loosing it. I mean I was loosing it. I felt like if my husband was going to go out work 16 hours a day to provide for his family I have to be on the ball. I had 3 kids, and a dog and he worked nights. He always had overtime as well. Being in a warehouse on a production shift you stay to the job got done and that was that. It was like being a single parent, and trying to study, start and run a business with 3 kids and little kids was not a movie star movie scene. I couldn't figure out how they did it. Well duh!! Because they aren't in " real time" They aren't even real people! They're actors with the scenes already cleaned up for them! But at the time I didn't get that. I related those "movie star mom's" to all the entrepreneur's that were already making it and making it look like they lived the " movie star mom" scene. 

And guess what? I wasn't there like a true friend would be, or a sister would have been, or a daughter would have been. I was wrapped around being perfect and the image of looking perfect so that no one new that I wasn't ok. So no one knew that I was loosing it, and stressed, and started to think I was incapable of accomplishing anything. Isn't that what a lot of us do now? 

The images we want others to see because we don't want others to know that our agendas, our house, our emotional state isn't ok.. Well that my friends is not ok. But what is ok is to not be ok and to talk about it. To embrace it. To know where you are at and the level you are at. To love all the messy, chaotic parts of you and your life and be free to be you. It's ok to listen to your friends and your family about their problems be there for them and still mention that your struggling with somethings too, EVEN if it seems dramatically small "if" you compare your problems to theirs. Which you shouldn't by the way. An issue, a challenge can be emotionally defeating if we let it no matter how big or how small. But once you realize where you are at and the weight of the problem, you can conquer it and you can be undefeated. Embrace the " I'm not ok" scene. It will help you to move forward and conquer it. 

If I could give you a hug I would, but I can't so instead i'm leaving you with this blog post in hopes that it will bring you some level of comfort knowing that your not alone. And if it has well then great!! Let me know! And please share this with another person that can use some comfort or give me a like. Till next time,

Connie


​Hugs!! xoXo